Update

At the request of a friend, and inspired by a fellow bloggers comeback :), the Crumbs are back.

Life has been to say the least, a whirl wind the past couple of months. We are both back in school, and its taken over much of our lives. Unfortunately we are not the couple that does ok without time together. We both get grumpy, sad, and start missing our time together. So when the time does come where we can spend it together, we are either too tired, or too annoyed to really enjoy it. Thankfully we both realized it the past few days and are trying to make a conscious effort to enjoy what we do have together.

So what has been going on, you ask? Micah got into the nursing program, and has been day and night focused. Just this morning he told me how he had a nightmare about a personal care plans. Despite the nightmares, he is really enjoying it, and I'm excited to see him get into something that is constantly challenging him.

We never made it to the U.P for our trip. I ended up sick, and Micah had the nursing program starting with homework that he couldn't take with us camping. One of a few let downs this year so far.

 At times in the past 2 months I have been sad, angry, bitter, and resentful. The pain I was experiencing turned out to be endometriosis. I went through a laproscopic procedure where the found it and cauterized some of it. However, my doctor believes that because I'm still experiencing the pain, that the endometriosis is elsewhere in my body. Therefore, I will be getting on a medication for the next few months to try and treat it. The frustration is that this condition can be part of infertility, and it is never "cured". I've been getting angry at those I know and love that are getting pregnant. In a time which I should be celebrating with them, I find myself finding a quiet spot (usually the bathroom or my car) to cry or just feel "numb" for a few minutes.  I'm finding myself out of control in a situation I wish I had control over. The reality is that I don't know what will happen, I need to trust God with this and let it be. Have I been trusting? No. Do I want to? Yes. As Micah has mentioned, our family just may look different. Just because we may not physically be able to have kids, doesn't mean we wont. I've always liked the idea of adopting a child and hoped whether we had our own or not that we would adopt.

With not feeling well, feeling overwhelmed by work and classwork, and not seeing my best friend on a regular basis, I've felt like quite the basket case of emotions. I've told Micah a few times now that I would be fine with up and moving, and just roaming the country in an R.V. with our dogs, cat, and chickens. He says he's game, but unfortunately I'm a little too realistic, and could never be that laid back/go with the flow person I wish I could be. For every drive we'd take I would be thinking about money spent towards gas, food, and where it will come from. Maybe after 20-30 years of work and a few dollars saved in the bank, I can learn to take a chill pill.

I've lost "my time" with cooking, taking pictures, exercising, and writing. As I sit and write now I'm thinking of the project I haven't started yet that's due and how my priorities are back asswards. But really, we all need some personal time to do what we enjoy, and if we aren't doing that, we're robbing ourselves at what life joys have to offer. I miss that joy. So today I write, and Monday, I'm going to zumba. Later this week, I might bust out the camera.

On a different note, I've been thinking about minimalism, and becoming more and more of a fan. I've mentioned this to friends who tell me I'm turning Amish (which I'm not), but I'm in love with the idea of focusing less on stuff, and more on self-sufficiency. There is a book coming out about having 100 items or less. At this time in our lives I think that's impossible, but minimizing to our basic needs would be nice. There is less stuff to worry about, and more time to be independent and focus on the things in life that really matter: relationships. What if we stopped worrying about the hustle and bustle, began living off of just what we needed, providing for ourselves, and spent more time on spreading love? Anyone in?

Have a great week. We'll try to keep this a little more up to date :)