Life Today

Only Otis will allow me to photograph him with my new camera. Eddie shakes horribly (the Canon makes a beeping sound that I'm pretty sure he thinks is the electrical fence collar) and refuses to let me take pictures. So I got this shot of Micah and Otis up at the trails behind the State Hospital Grounds. Reminds me how much I love the guys in my life. As tough as they look, their not :). 

It's been a productive and relaxing weekend. I was able to make and can 10 quarts of chunky cinnamon applesauce, while Micah and our brother in law Jared went hunting. No luck this weekend but Micah did get a buck earlier in the week, a 5 pointer. He was hoping for his "trophy deer" this weekend, but at least we'll have meat for the next several months!

Micah's projects are always more impressive than mine, therefore I will not post pictures of my applesauce :). It's not quite as pretty as this deer.  

I started working on some new projects (christmas/birthday/baby gifts) for the many celebrations coming up in the next several months. It turns out I know 9 people having babies between now and August, so I need to get moving! While I"m thinking of it, I need to apologize for my latest venting session. In the midst of me expressing how I felt, I didn't think of how others may feel. I had a friend come up to me and apologize, right before she told me she was pregnant. I don't want people to feel bad for telling me such exciting news. I truly am happy for my friends that are entering a new chapter of their life, and I'm excited to be part of it. So to those of you that are pregnant, or may become pregnant, please don't feel bad telling me. The truth is, I was having a pitty party, and I'm over it now. God has plans for me, and no matter what they are, I'm choosing to have joy in Gods plans, not my own.

"Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lords purpose that prevails"

- Proverbs 19:21

Update

At the request of a friend, and inspired by a fellow bloggers comeback :), the Crumbs are back.

Life has been to say the least, a whirl wind the past couple of months. We are both back in school, and its taken over much of our lives. Unfortunately we are not the couple that does ok without time together. We both get grumpy, sad, and start missing our time together. So when the time does come where we can spend it together, we are either too tired, or too annoyed to really enjoy it. Thankfully we both realized it the past few days and are trying to make a conscious effort to enjoy what we do have together.

So what has been going on, you ask? Micah got into the nursing program, and has been day and night focused. Just this morning he told me how he had a nightmare about a personal care plans. Despite the nightmares, he is really enjoying it, and I'm excited to see him get into something that is constantly challenging him.

We never made it to the U.P for our trip. I ended up sick, and Micah had the nursing program starting with homework that he couldn't take with us camping. One of a few let downs this year so far.

 At times in the past 2 months I have been sad, angry, bitter, and resentful. The pain I was experiencing turned out to be endometriosis. I went through a laproscopic procedure where the found it and cauterized some of it. However, my doctor believes that because I'm still experiencing the pain, that the endometriosis is elsewhere in my body. Therefore, I will be getting on a medication for the next few months to try and treat it. The frustration is that this condition can be part of infertility, and it is never "cured". I've been getting angry at those I know and love that are getting pregnant. In a time which I should be celebrating with them, I find myself finding a quiet spot (usually the bathroom or my car) to cry or just feel "numb" for a few minutes.  I'm finding myself out of control in a situation I wish I had control over. The reality is that I don't know what will happen, I need to trust God with this and let it be. Have I been trusting? No. Do I want to? Yes. As Micah has mentioned, our family just may look different. Just because we may not physically be able to have kids, doesn't mean we wont. I've always liked the idea of adopting a child and hoped whether we had our own or not that we would adopt.

With not feeling well, feeling overwhelmed by work and classwork, and not seeing my best friend on a regular basis, I've felt like quite the basket case of emotions. I've told Micah a few times now that I would be fine with up and moving, and just roaming the country in an R.V. with our dogs, cat, and chickens. He says he's game, but unfortunately I'm a little too realistic, and could never be that laid back/go with the flow person I wish I could be. For every drive we'd take I would be thinking about money spent towards gas, food, and where it will come from. Maybe after 20-30 years of work and a few dollars saved in the bank, I can learn to take a chill pill.

I've lost "my time" with cooking, taking pictures, exercising, and writing. As I sit and write now I'm thinking of the project I haven't started yet that's due and how my priorities are back asswards. But really, we all need some personal time to do what we enjoy, and if we aren't doing that, we're robbing ourselves at what life joys have to offer. I miss that joy. So today I write, and Monday, I'm going to zumba. Later this week, I might bust out the camera.

On a different note, I've been thinking about minimalism, and becoming more and more of a fan. I've mentioned this to friends who tell me I'm turning Amish (which I'm not), but I'm in love with the idea of focusing less on stuff, and more on self-sufficiency. There is a book coming out about having 100 items or less. At this time in our lives I think that's impossible, but minimizing to our basic needs would be nice. There is less stuff to worry about, and more time to be independent and focus on the things in life that really matter: relationships. What if we stopped worrying about the hustle and bustle, began living off of just what we needed, providing for ourselves, and spent more time on spreading love? Anyone in?

Have a great week. We'll try to keep this a little more up to date :)

Just Breathe

Summer has past and it's now a new year. My new year doesn't start in January, it, like for most teachers, starts in August/September when it's back to work with maybe new students, new challenges, and new goals for yourself. I came in feeling more confident than in years past, which was a nice change! I'm finally figuring out how things work around my building, within my classroom, and with my teaching assistants. It's nice :). Overall, I am not a confident person, but feeling like I'm in a little more control in my position is a good feeling! The first full week back went well, minus myself being sick- they thought it was appendicitis, thank goodness it wasn't, but unforunately what they told me it was, was supposed to end after a few days, and it hasn't. I'll be going in for more testing next week, I'm sure it's nothing, but the hypochondriac in me always thinks the worst. It's a bad habit. 

Micah has had the month of Sept. off. He found out he got accepted into the nursing program, and both of us are very excited for what this means. This means, 1 year from December, he will be done! He will have an A.D.N. and be able to test for his R.N. license. I couldn't be prouder of him. I'm enjoying our study dates, quick dinners, and cram sessions. It's like we're full time college students again, with the exception that both of us go to our classes in clothes, not pajama's (I do miss that).....

With Summer passing and fall approaching, Micah and I are excited for what is to come in the coming months. I'm realizing when I'm home now, I'm making a point to breathe. Because for the rest of the week I feel as if I'm holding my breath...between working full time, 2 grad classes, a bible study, and trying to spend time with friends, I don't really come up for air. I'm trying to appreciate the little things more. This week Micah made me dinner a couple of times, drove into town to meet me for a doctors appointment, and beat me at dominoes. Just for the record, he uses Batman sound effects when scoring on paper (I happened to find the score sheet with the word, "POW!" and the shape drawn around him beating me by 60 + points). I've been able to hang with the boys (my dogs and cat), and enjoy their company.  Our pets are our kids. I love them, and don't know what my life would be like without them. They all buddy up and go outside together now, and at night, Otis will try to be a ninja, slowly moving onto the bed to try and cuddle, while Eddie pounds his tail against the wood floor knowing at any minute I'm going to start counting before I spank Otis. Their habits and personalities resemble too much of what brothers would do to eachother. And Milo...well lets just say he's a character. He likes to hide under the sofa cover to try and attack the dogs as they walk by...little does he know that his legs stick out...

I don't know how often I can say it, but I'll continue to say how much I love the life we live. We enjoy trying to live simply, appreciating the little things, living and spending with thriftiness in mind, learning from my husband. He claims we are agricultural hippies. I'd be proud to be a hippie. I always appreciated their willingness to be different from the norm....

This Friday Micah and I will be taking our first backcountry camping/hiking adventure in the U.P.- please keep me in your thoughts, as I have a tendency to not be good at relaxing....Micah couldn't be more excited, and while I'm excited, I'm also a little nervous. If I'm honest it's because I know how horrible I am at sitting still...but if I'm really practicing that "breathing" I talked about earlier, then this will be a good test!

Wishing you a good week with happy thoughts!
Autumn

Summer happenings

Well, we are nearing the end of yet another summer. I'm sorry to see it go.

Micah, I think, is even more excited than I for the end of the summer to come. He's been working hard to finish up pre-req's for the nursing program at Baker. Next week there will be finals, and the HESI entrance exam. After that, he will be waiting to hear if he gets into the Nursing program or not. He's staying very level headed about it all, knowing that there are only 24 spots, and over 60 people applying. I think he'll get in, no problem...am I bias? Yes, just a tad. He has pulled some late nighters, and it isn't over yet...but a week from tomorrow it will be. I'm glad for him, and his very anxious classmates.

Tomorrow is my last day of summer program in my SXI room. I've enjoyed the 3 days a week, the fieldtrips outside, and the chance to continue working with my students on some functional living skills. My summer breakthrough was with a student  I'll call "D". D went from no handwashing to, D going from the toilet to the sink every time, sticking her hand under the soap, washing with assistance, and drying her hands independently. This is why I love my job. It's these little things that we take for granted, that are real break throughs for so many of our SXI students. Whats funnest is seeing the joy in their face when they realize what they did ON their own. Yeay :) Insert "happy dance" here.

Micah and I together have enjoyed our summer overall...between all the hustle and bustle of work and classes, we also made a point to make time for fun. We got involved in a 20's/30's group at our church, and realized we aren't the only people that sometimes feel lost. We went kayaking/fishing, which when done together, was a lot of fun! We made it to Chicago to visit my little brother, which while quick (and extremely hot) was much needed. We had friends visit, and there are still more to come in the next couple of weeks! Yeay :). We've also gardened, and gardened...canned, and frozen...and are no where near done. There is still corn, squash, zucchini, and pounds of tomatoes to be taken care of. It's a good problem, and will be great when in the winter we can go down to our little storage area of canned goods, and just grab something to throw in a pot for dinner. Acquantinces have become friends, family get togethers have been memorable, and a camping trip to the U.P. is still planned for September.

It's a bittersweet feeling knowing that summer is coming to an end. But I have to admit the other day, waking up to the chilly breeze was exciting. I'm looking forward to fall, changing leaves, longsleeve shirts, apple cider, and donuts! (bubbles form over head with the thought, " I need to start experiementing now on Gluten Free donuts"...)

Alright...calling it a night.

Aud

If you are thinking this blog is going to be sad or depressing because of the title, think again. It's just a play on words. Awhile back Micah and I joked about opening up a business someday, and were thinking of names. I thought "The Crumby Bakery" was a good one. Obviously we are not opening a business, so I thought I'd use it for our blog.

Creating this was my idea. It's not as personal as a letter in the mail, or even a phone call (all who know me, know I don't like phones if I don't have to use them), but at least it's one way to be able to share with friends what is going on in our lives. For awhile I enjoyed using facebook. It was nice, simple, quick, and convenient. Today however, I realize that when I sit down to post something online, I have to question myself on if I want it to come up in topic of conversation. 

Micah and I plan on sharing this blog..although I can almost guarantee you will hear more from me than him :). He's a man of few written words.I however, love to talk, well...at least write. I used to write all the time, then a full time job happened, getting into grad school happened. Creativity had felt lost. But I'm trying to dig back into what I've always enjoyed. Since summer break, I've picked up a camera, am reading more, and am working on knitting skills. Micah put together another beautiful 50 x 50 garden full of tomatoes, onions, carrots, broccoli, peas, green beans, squash, and zucchini. Another way for me to learn to be creative: in the kitchen...

Our life is by no means Crumby. It's not perfect. It's not full of money or full or material things. But our life is one filled with laughter, with animals, and with the knowledge that God is good, all the time. I truly am grateful for where I am at in the here and now, and couldn't be more happy with who I get to spend it with.

Have a joyous day,

Aud